The Best Advice I’ve Ever Heard

We’re coming into a new year, so I’ve been doing some reflecting. Besides making Christmas lists, I’ve also been making lists of resolutions and reflecting on the person I’ve been and the person I want to be. In reflecting, I’ve realized there are some basic beliefs that I live by. These beliefs are best stated in advice I’ve been given throughout my lifetime. I’d like to give that same advice to you now. May it help you as you enter a new year full of possibilities.

“Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.” – Mother Teresa

The “Do It Anyway” article is my favorite piece of advice I’ve ever been given. Every line is a perfect representation of how to be a good person. I encourage you to read the article, print it out, and hang it on your wall as a constant reminder to be the good in the world.

“Never ask a question you are not ready to hear the answer to.” – A Friend

Do you love me? How many other girls have you been with? Did you lie to me about this? Are you giving up on us? I believe that you need to ask the hard questions, but sometimes you have to pick and choose which questions to ask. Do not ask a question if you are not emotionally mature enough to deal with the worse possible answer. Don’t keep asking the same hard question over and over with the hope that the answer will change. That is abusive to yourself.

“There’s already so much negativity and bad in the world. Don’t add to it” – An ex-boyfriend

He said this to me in the middle of a huge fight. We were sitting in the car together yelling about who knows what when suddenly he just stopped mid sentence and looked down at his hands. He was quiet for a minute and I was prepared to unleash the rage that was boiling in my chest. He said this to me and immediately put out the fire inside me. I had never thought about it in that way before. Every argument you have, every bad word you say, or angry intention contributes to the darkness of the world. I’m happily married now to someone else, but I always think of those words whenever I start getting frustrated or angry.

“Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run there’s still time to change the road you’re on.” – Led Zeppelin

This is probably one of my favorite lyrics of all times and some great advice for those of us who are feeling like we’re not sure where we’re supposed to be. This reminds me that no matter what path we choose, we can always change our minds. You are never stuck. You always have the choice to create a better or a different life for yourself. This quote also reminds me to not take anything too seriously. Most of our choices are not dyer. They are not life or death. There are multiple paths we can go by but no matter what we choose, we can always change.

“Never stop asking questions” – Mom

My mom is the wisest person I know. Growing up she always encouraged me to keep asking questions, even when other adults didn’t like it one bit. Asking questions is the way you learn, grow, and change the world.

“Be who you needed when you were younger” – Unknown

As a child I looked up to a lot of different people. There are people I watched growing up that have no idea how much they influenced me. As an adult, I strive everyday to be a person that I would want my 10 year old self to look up to. Be kind, be smart, be happy, and be anything else you needed to see in a role model when you were younger.

“Suck it up!” – Girls Camp 2009

For anyone who has attended a girls’ summer camp, you know that most girls can find a lot to complain about in the woods. At camp, we developed the habit of yelling “Suck it up!” to anyone who would complain. The complainer would almost always replace their complaining with laughter. So any time I’m faced with something I don’t want to do, I think back to summer camp and hear my campmates yelling at me to “Suck it up”. The internal laughter makes it easier.

“If you’re not willing to look stupid, nothing great will ever happen to you” – Dr. Gregory House

If you haven’t already, listen to Brene Brown’s talk on vulnerability. I’ve learned that you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable. You have to do something without the fear of looking stupid in order to succeed. Take risks. Put yourself out there!

“Either you run the day or the day runs you.” – Jim Rohn

It’s your life. Take control of it!

“Never half ass anything. If you are going to do something, do it all the way.”  – A Dance Teacher

She was obviously talking about committing to the choreography, but I took this advice to the rest of my life as well. If you are going to do something, do it all the way. If you are going to be something, be it all the way. If you are going to love something, love it all the way. We are not meant to live a half life (unless we drink unicorn blood. Then we’ll have a half life, a cursed life.)

“I think everybody should like everybody”. – Andy Warhol

This one is tough. Trust me when I say I have a hard time liking everybody. However, this advice reminds me that everybody is going through their own thing. We should like the fact that they are humans as we are.

“Music’s the only thing that makes sense anymore, man. Play it loud enough, it keeps the demons at bay.” – JoJo, Across the Universe

Music is a powerful force. It brings people together, heals, and can impact emotions. If you are having a bad day, try putting on some music.

“I always tell the girls never take it seriously, if you never take it seriously you never get hurt, if you never get hurt you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely just go to the record store and visit your friends.” – Almost Famous

Never take life too seriously. It’s easy to get swept up in jobs, money, relationships, and other things that seem like the most important thing in the world. Just remember that no matter what happens, everything will work out.

“Sometimes the best action is no action at all.” – Mom

She said this to me during my first major break up. I kept asking her what I should do. Should I go to him? Should I tell him off? Should I stop talking to him? She told me to put my phone away and to just do nothing for awhile. Don’t worry. Don’t think. Just take zero action until your world calms down. That was the best thing for me at that moment. Sometimes when things in my adult life get overwhelming, I do the same thing – most people call it meditation.

“If you have to choose between being right and being kind, choose to be kind and you’ll always be right” – Cousin

A lovely saying by a lovely cousin of mine. Kindness is always the answer.

“They were self aware and self accepting, open and spontaneous, loving and caring, not paralyzed by others opinions, secure in the sense of who they were.” -Abraham Maslow’s study of Self Actualization

Becoming a self actualized adult is something I strive for each day. I learned of Abraham Maslow as a junior in high school and it has directly affected the person I am today.

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Sometimes it’s hard to keep going when the world has beaten you down. I have had many times where I’ve felt like I was not enough or like the odds were against me. Keep your head up and inch forward until you get to where you want to be.

“You can’t have everything. ” – A Friend

A friend said this to me when we were in the 6th grade. We were both going through some awkward body changes and complaining about them. She sighs and says “Well, I guess you can’t have everything”. Looking back, that 11 year old girl was right. There’s not one person in the world that doesn’t have a single insecurity. A woman may have a great body but hate her thighs. She may love her lips but wish her eyes were blue instead of brown. If we focus on the things we LIKE about ourselves and stop comparing ourselves to other “perfect” women, our lives will become better. Ironically, that friend is now a model.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.” – Yoda

Fear is the root of most problems. Fear of looking stupid, fear of love, fear of losing something or someone, fear of rejection. Fear is an incredibly powerful force that can put you in a dark place. Remember that fear = time + thought. If you take away either of those things, fear will diminish. When you feel afraid of something, remember that fear leads to suffering. Your choices are either to suffer or to conquer fear.

“Let you alone! That’s all very well, but how can I leave myself alone? We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?” – Fahrenheit 451

The world is full of problems. It’s easy to ignore them and dismiss things that are against our morals and say “Someone else will deal with that”. Before long, you wake up and find that the world isn’t the nice place it used to be. Be bothered if something or someone is threatening what you believe in. Be bothered about something that is making the world a less pleasant place. Stand up for what is good and right.

“I have scars on my hands from touching certain people.” – J.D. Salinger

There are going to be people who hurt you and scar you. The important thing is to learn from those scars, forgive, and try to move on.

So there you have it – the top pieces of advice I call upon often. Comment below on the best advice you’ve ever been given!